Memory Wreath
by Ster J
Summary: While others celebrate Christmas, on lonely Vulcan commemorates a more somber occasion. SLASHY


Title: Memory Wreath

Author: Ster Julie

Rating[PG

Codes: Spock (implied S/Mc)

Part 1 of 1

Summary: While others celebrate Christmas, on lonely Vulcan commemorates a more somber occasion.

--ooOoo--

Spock set the plant in the center of a low table. He was pleased to see that the gardener had followed his instructions to the letter. The old growth had been trimmed back a few weeks before so that the delicate new leaves would grace this living wreath. Like the memories of the ancestors that all Vulcans keep sacred, the wreath had neither an observable beginning nor end. The ancestors would live on in blessed memory as long as their descendants called them to mind.

Next Spock set out lamps to be placed at the four directions, one each of green, red, blue and gold. He tried to studiously ignore the festive roar coming from a neighbor's apartment, although the strains of "Blue Christmas" coming through the wall seemed sadly apropos. It was incongruous that the happiest of all Earth's holidays would fall on Vulcan's most solemn commemoration--Remembrance Day. Spock sighed and lit the incense in the center of the wreath. He would try his best to keep his focus, but this year's observance was particularly difficult for him.

Had anyone else looked at his memorial lamps, they would have assumed that Spock honored the four Vulcan elements. But Spock knew different. He had early on assigned new meanings to the candles' colors.

At the head of his wreath Spock set the red candle. He may have been a child of Vulcan, but Spock never forgot the woman from whose body he emerged or the color of her blood he bore on his own body. The red candle stood for Amanda. She was the root and anchor of his family. It was Amanda that first suggested marriage to Sarek, the first to consider bringing a child into their union. Amanda was the one that held the family together even in the midst of strife and long silences. Spock remembered his dear mother as he lit the red candle.

Spock set the green candle next to the red candle in honor of Sarek, as the son remembered that his father was always at his wife's side during their marriage. Green was the color of his life's blood, the life that Sarek had given him and the life that Spock had returned to his father in that fateful journey to Babel. On Vulcan, green meant the life that ran through the veins, but on Earth, green meant lush and verdant pastures, forested hillsides, pools of algae. Green was the color of the symbiosis of flora and fauna. Each, to one degree or another, depended on the other for life. Even though he was estranged from his father for many years, Spock realized his need for Sarek, and Sarek's need of his son. Spock lit the green candle and recalled Sarek.

Spanning across the circle of plants was the gold candle. Even though Starfleet uniforms went through several changes in his career, whenever Spock thought of James Tiberius Kirk, he remembered his dear captain and friend wearing the gold velour uniform. But gold did not only stand for fabric. Everything was golden about Kirk--his hair, his eyes, his body, his mind, his personality. Spock valued their friendship as something far more lasting, far more precious than gold. He lit the gold candle and remembered Jim Kirk.

The last candle was most difficult to light. Shortly after Spock returned from Romulus, his long-time nemesis, friend, and finally spouse Leonard McCoy finally passed into the hands of the ancestors after a very long and incredible life. Spock had once entrusted his _katra_ to this beloved man, and McCoy had kept him safe until the _fal-to- pan--_and beyond. Even though Spock knew the end was near, that McCoy's body could no longer be augmented with newer body parts, the loss of his dear _Len-kam_ was a bitter thing to bear. Spock took the corner of his hem and wiped his eyes before lighting the last candle, the one as blue as the good doctor's lovely eyes.

The circle of memories now complete, Spock took a small hand fan and beat the air rhythmically in time with his chants. The incense bloomed and swirled in the currents, the flames flickered then fractured to myriads of stars in Spock's teary vision.

A current of air brushed across Spock's cheek in a ghostly kiss as he raised the ritual glass of green herbal liquor and toasted his ancestors. After setting down the glass, Spock smoothed his crimson robe and waited for the incense to burn out. (The candles would have to burn themselves out as custom dictated.) Spock caught sight of his reflection with his crimson robe and candlelight. A chorus of, "You look good in red," brushed past his mind. Spock dropped his gaze to the wreath. He was told as a small child that the Memory Wreath served as a window from the side of the living to Otherside where the ancestors dwelled. He had always dismissed it as childish rumor, but perhaps…

END


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